To have something...then you don't...it felt so nice...then it was gone...the feeling of being cast aside like a side dish that no one ordered...or the feeling of being "shut out." Fighting the fear...fear that I will never have this again...fear that someone else has taken or will take my place. The empty, lonely feeling. The feeling of struggling just to get out of bed in the morning or to complete simple tasks that once were easier to do. Now, they are a struggle. The feeling of just wanting to go to bed and sleep...bury myself in something else.
In the midst of all of this, while waking up, hearing the words of the prophet Isaiah in my mind..."I will make the darkness light before you...the crooked places will be made straight, and the rough places plain. These things I will do for you." Hope. Sunlight will come again. This sorrow will pass. Oh, if only it would pass today.