It's that time of life when you struggle with everything...please grant me a few moments to be very honest...the change of life is so devastating to a woman. You're just humming along, and then around age 40 or so, you start to have these hitches. At first they aren't to much, just a little here and a little there. But, as age 50 approaches, it starts to become more frequent. More difficult. More disruptive. What was once an occasional hum in the background begins to consume your thoughts. Many little aches, pains, bodily malfunctions, and, of course, the dreaded and at the same time, welcomed change of life. Perhaps, it's the transition that is so hard. You've left one shore, but you're lost out on the ocean of doubt and bewilderment as you head off to the next shore. A new place where you've never been. A part of you is ready to go there, another part wants to stay with what you know already.
Weight piles up. It doesn't come off like it used to. The drive to get it off and keep it off is much less. Emotions become dulled. Just getting out of bed in the morning takes every ounce of energy you have and then some. Every ache and pain screams that it will be your undoing. It will be the dreaded cancer, it will be the condition from which there is no cure. Your confidence is gone. You doubt everything. One one hand you feel dull, on the other hand you are perhaps more sensitive to other things. It's a huge shift in thinking, feeling and just being.
In the midst of the chaotic, swirling, ugly soup, there is One who neve leaves. His name is Jesus. He created me. He knows me. He loves me. He died for me. He numbers every hair on my head. I am still His child. I am still beautiful to Him. He will never fail me. May my thoughts rest in THIS reality.
